Today is the day of the long awaited christmas party at the company. Memories about the last one a year ago awaken. Christmas parties are events, where strange things happen. Everyone can tell a funny story about a drunken colleague, who behaved embarassingly by dancing as a baby monkey, falling into the cake buffet or hitting on the secretary. I have my very own story. Unfortunately not about another colleague but me. I tried to keep it as a secret since one year, but actually it’s too funny not to tell. Besides I’m not good with secrets. I mean secrets about my person, not secrets, my friends told me of course.
Ok, so here’s the story: Last year we started pre-drinking in the office around three o clock in the afternoon. We have this beautiful German word called Vorglühen to describe the process of getting ready for a party. With 5 glasses of champagne my getting-ready was rather an already-done even so. Happy as a child I arrived at the party and kept going with wine and more champagne. A sweet little Currywurst as a basis for the night wasn’t enough. Hard times for our company by the way. The sausage came too late anyway. I was totally drunk.
I had to recognize it badly when I’d been back at the office for five minutes to check my phone. Out of a sudden it overcame me. The toilet seemed far away and the only available thing to puke in was an filled bin. In this case filled means a bunch of paper towered above the edge already. This again meant a bit puke in the bin and a bit puke on the carpet. What a bad idea to furnish an office with carpet. Not really kind for drunken employees. At least I emptied the bin at the toilet, tried to remove the spot on the carpet and left the company without saying goodbye to anyone.
Dumb as I am, I went to work the next day. With the tiny hope the cleaning lady polished our office. Damn. No “Good morning” from my colleagues. Only a “Did you vomit into our office?” My look replied. It was a rhetorical question anyhow. I mean, they had seen me yesterday behind the bar. 10.000 times. What a shame. My boss sent me home before lunch. Since I quit and today is my last day, I don’t have to work tomorrow fortunately. But there won’t be a repition tonight.
To make the whole story even more funnier, I sent a postsecret today. Do you know this project called Postsecret? Create an anonymous postcard with your most interesting secret and send it away. Every Sunday the organisators publish the postcards on their website. It’s originally from the US, but exists in many other countries meanwhile. In Germany as well. With a picture of my face and the secret in English my postcard is a bit against the rules. But hey, the fun was fifty cents for a stamp worth it.
Don’t take life too serious, Sweeties!