A nice coincidence brought me to the idea of my todays first time. On my way to work I read the Zeit Magazin in the train and stumbled over a book recommendation: “Warum bin ich nicht du?” (Why am I not you?) from French illustrator and writer Tomi Ungerer. It’s a collection of simple and banal questions from kids, grown-ups seldom thinking about. Conditions we accept as given and never questioning. Interesting.
At work the yearly book bazaar was waiting. It’s a book sale of all the review copies our editors got and didn’t need or just want to get rid of it. Every book 2 Euros, always at the beginning of christmas time. An event my colleagues and I are looking forward to since Easter. Guess, which book fell into my hands? Ok, it wasn’t Tomi Unger but it was a book with exactly the same concept. “Wieso bin ich, wer ich bin” (Why am I, who I am?) from Suzanne Rethans. I bought it, of course.
While scanning the index I got caught by three questions. To be exact questions, I’m asking myself my whole life already. Today I try to find answers.
1) Am I still able to think, when I’m dead?
Sometimes, when I’m thinking about a life after death I become sick. The imagination of not being part of this world anymore scares me, I have to admit. The only thing to fight against this fear is hope. Let’s hope, the answer is a yes. Our spirit outlives our body. We won’t be able to influence all the ongoing proceedings on earth anymore, but we can be silent observers in the clouds. And that’s not a religious thought, it’s a thought of hope.
2) How can I know, someone’s loving me?
I always say all the things belonging to love are something, which is hard to describe. Love is a feeling, which is impossible to express in words. Because feelings are subjective and something individual for every human being, it’s pretty hard to find a good answer for this question. But I’m convinced, if it’s the case, that someone loves you, you’ll feel it and all doubts are gone. It’s all about love in life.
3) Why am I, who I am?
I love to philosophize about this question. My thoughts are going even further: Why am I that lucky, to be born in Germany and not in any other country in the world? Why am I born in this era and not 500 hundred years ago? People tend to dismiss such questions as senseless, but they’re really meanful in fact. The only answer can be destiny. Sure, that’s nothing you can tell kids. Good, you’re all grown up.